hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
