id be glad to
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
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