jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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