Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize