Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
