I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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