and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
