Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
