Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
