Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Ketchup is God's man juice
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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