I love black thongs
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
