Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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