I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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