Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
