I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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