Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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