Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
