Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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