I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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