So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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