im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm really busy with my period
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