Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
