..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
