one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
