he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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