i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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