she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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