I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize