she looked like the bat from fern gully.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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