I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Randomize
