Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my vag is so smooth its legendary
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
