4 words: hood of his car
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
