theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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