How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
