Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize