why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
