Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
