Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
