I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
