When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
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