I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
