there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
