your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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