I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
My cat gives me a boner
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
