Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
