There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
