and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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