we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
