don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
