Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
