ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
