real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
