Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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