my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Vodka?
Forever.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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