just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
