just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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