Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize