I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
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