I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
